Dear God,

I know that I’m pushing my luck a little bit.

I’m not even 100% sure on where I stand with religion. On one side, I can feel you, and I just *know* you’re there. On the other, however, I still find the idea a little hard to comprehend.

The truth is, when I was younger, I used to believe in you, and if anybody had told me otherwise I would have strongly disagreed. When my sister, Katy, died when I was 10, I kind of thought to myself, ‘Why would God let this happen? I though the was the good guy?”

I was young at the time, but that changed my opinion on the way I saw the world. I didn’t see it in the innocent way children see things, I saw things a different way that I can’t really describe.

Lately, however, I’ve felt you, something I never would have considered plausible beforehand. I’ve been wanting to pray to you, but honestly, I haven’t been wanting to pray to you until I knew for certain that you’re actually there, because I think it would be wrong to do otherwise.

But then I thought to myself, there’s no way to be certain, is there? When I was an atheist, I still kept an open mind, I still had that little part of me that believed that you were there. And now, I believe you are there, there’s still a part of me that believes that you might not be.

I’m sorry, but, as I’m sure you know, you can’t control your beliefs. I wish I believed in you, 100%, maybe that way I wouldn’t feel so alone, so frightened. Maybe then I wouldn’t be so scared of the unknown, because I know that, if you are real, there is nothing to be scared of. Everything happens, and I can’t control most of it, can I? And so, if worst comes to worst, at least I’ll be with you in heaven.

I know I said I wouldn’t pray to you until I’m certain, but, and I know this sounds terrible - I don’t think I’ll ever be certain, or, at least, more certain than I am now.

I know I’m pushing my luck, but I want my granddad to be safe and happy, and I just want you to look after him and know that his family will love him forever. He did not deserve alzheimers, but I’m thankful that he got to life until 93. Thank you.

I just want him to be happy.

And I also pray that my grandmother will find the strength to carry on. She’s on her own, she’s lonely, and this was a big shock. Not only her, but for the rest of my family too. But especially her. She’s on her own.

I trust you. Thank you.

Dear God,

My wife Anna was diagnosed with Idiopathic Pulmonary Hypertension 4 days ago.  She has a small chance of survival.  Dear God when she collapsed, my spirit did also… when I heard no breath from her lips and no heartbeat in her breast.  I too died.  But you brought her back to us - to our four babies 6 months, 2 years, 3 years and 6 year old… we need her.  I need her.  I don’t think I can do this alone.

My wife needs you… we need you. 

In you there is strength… I have to believe that.  I know you are there.

Dear God,

This will be the first time again, God, after quite some time that I will be focusing on you once again— just you, with no worries and other things bewildering my train of thoughts. I missed you, Lord— so much. It’s just lately, I’ve been buried under all these pressure and stress that I can’t seem to dedicate a portion of my time to you, and I am so sorry for that, God. I am here once again, Father. Take me under your wings again because I can feel that I’m losing the wise, understanding, patient, and caring person I ones was. Help me, guide me, please to be the best person I can ever be. I love you, God. With all my heart. 

Amen. 

Dear God,

I am grateful for everything, I have been down and you have brought me back up many times. I am fully open to you, a building with no doors, an empty vessel for you to fill. I need to know where to go next. I have a very strong urge to change the world and do something great for humanity, but I don’t know how. I am afraid. I want to do your work but I feel it will be bigger than me and bigger than I can handle alone. I need a sign. I need to know what to do and I need to know its the right thing for me to do. My heart hearts to help humanity!

Give me purpose

Dear God,

Oh, God, how great and wonderful you are. Creator of all things, from the tiniest atoms to the ever expanding universe. Your creation and limitations are vast and endless. I know that with you nothing is impossible, but God I feel so lost in my life.

I don’t know what to do, I’m stuck in limbo between momentary happiness, and unimaginable emptiness. God I just want to feel love, your pure and simple love. I crave to feel that burning fire in my heart once more. I’m tired of comparing my life with others and making myself feel worthless. I know with you no one is useless!

God show me my path in life. Please lord! I’m a young man who, if I should keep walking this path to nothingness, will perish. Please give me direction God. Jesus, Lord of Lords, please help this fragile mortal being. I don’t want earthly riches, I’ve spent a vast amount of my life and money perusing materialistic things and where did that pursuit brought me? Nothing, but a dead end full of empty promises and shattered hopes. That emptiness brought me toward my drug and pornography addiction. I’m tired of feeling empty, and seeing my world slowly comsumed by the darkness I’ve created.

Jesus have mercy on me and show me your grace. I submit myself to you. My heart and mind find piece whenever I read your words, and the words of the heavenly father.

Jesus, God in mortal form, please guide me. Help me find work. Help me find hope. I hold on to my faith that all things will come out for the greater good, but my dependence to drugs and porn and self loathing are eating me up inside.

Save me Jesus! Save me!!!!!

I cry as I write this. Please give me a reason for remaining microscopically hopeful in this mortal world. Show me my purpose, my path. Jesus, save me as you see fit. My Lord, my savior. I want to honor your father as well as you lord. Speak to me. I’ve spoken to you for so long, please speak to me, I want to listen to your words.

Thank you,

Ralph from Hialeah