Hopeless, Scared and Going on Empty
Dear God,
I am struggling every day to control overwhelming anxiety, regret, depression and confusion. I am exhausted. I feel like I have had one battle after another, and though winning some- I have lost the war. I am terrified of my future..I am embarrassed to admit my doubt in You or your great love and supposed interest in me. I am too tired to reach out to You or anyone. I cant sleep, I cant seem to live panic free. I am so lonely and I cant stop feeling like I am not deserving of anything which stops me from grabbing onto, much less hanging onto, anything. Dear God, I pray that you see this attempt of reaching out…that you give me the strength and the courage to wake up each day and strive for what you want for me in this life. Make my desires be of your will….help me be the woman you want and need me to be. Please God give me PEACE, please bless me with the self-efficacy and the knowledge that your power and strength and hope is in me. That you are going to show me the path. Please God show me where you are, show me how to get to you, how to connect to you and feel you. PLEASE GOD!! Please protect me Lord and please tell the souls I have hurt how much I love and need them. Please show me that you care. Dear God, I dream constantly of going away, far away for no one to find me. I want to end my life. I look up and all I see are walls that are too tall to climb. I am too tired to fight the shame I have in being a failure, of not being strong enough to be positive, of being viewed as having a “victim mentality”, of self loathing. I have nothing left Lord to keep fighting the fear and negative thoughts. I beg you, I beg you, please show me the way. Please God. Please God take me by the hand and be gentle. I have made a mess of everything in my life- my marriage, my career, my finances, my relationships with others. PLEASE HELP ME OR I CANNOT GO ON ANY LONGER. I am drowning and am feeling my soul leaving me..I am scared to death of becoming empty and numb. PLEASE SHOW ME YOUR LIGHT. Please help me find your peace before its too late. In your precious name, Amen
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