Hopeing for the best!!!

Dear God,
I’m feeling angry! And I’m feeling so disappointed and confused. Whenever I try to change for tge better & like I’m beginning to build a relationship with you – my life gets SO bad??? Then I get soo mad with you and it makes me runaway & then things seem to settle back down. Look I’m sorry that I’m so angryy and I really do feel like blaming you and giving up on trying to connect with you. But inside I also think that maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to throw in the towel and blame you. Maybe it’s all for the best and something good is to come. Or maybe this is your way of rejecting me & for that I cannot blame you either. So yes, I realize – I shouldn’t be angry with you?? I know how much I suck. It’s fine. Who cares anyways?? I’m a nobody.