Dear God,

If it’s not too much to ask, would you show my Grandma this? Thank you…

Dear Nanay, 

I miss you with all my heart. I loved you with all my heart, but my mistake was never taking the time to show you that. To show you that you were loved by your grand daughter. Nanay, i’m sorry for not being there to care for you during your overgrowing times of pain and struggle. I’m sorry that life continued for you without knowing that i cared. I’m sorry for not seeing you.. seeing you as one of the very few people who needed someone by their side, even if it was to whisper the words “nandito ako, nay.” I’m sorry that these apologies, these feelings of mine, are too late to be heard. I’m sorry that the cries i let out during your viewing, funeral, and burial were not enough to bring you back. I’m sorry for seeing you only when my parents forced me too, i’m sorry that i never took the time to thank you for absolutely everything you did for me and my sisters. You and tatay were always so patient with me and my sisters. Always so charismatic when we brought pasalubong for you and tatay. Never did you treat me as just a granddaughter, you treated me as a daughter. The very moment i realize the reality of my mother’s loss, of my loss… i begin to miss you even more. I should’ve, could’ve, would’ve… spent more time to show you, to thank you, to openly say “i love you, nanay.”

I believe that i am still with you. Not only in spirit, not only by heart, not only by soul, but by love. Here i am nanay and if it’s not to late to say so.. i’ve always loved you. God Continues to let us Know that You Are With Us, and for that i am truly thankful.