Help Me Decide To Stay Or Go

I’m sure you know this already, but I’m in a bind. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 7 years now, and I don’t love him anymore. I’d like to leave him, and move out of town, but he’s been having a horrible few years and as far as he’s concerned, I’m the only thing that’s going right in his life. We’ve had a nice relationship. We’re friends. He’s kind, and not abusive in any way. He’s just not affectionate or interested in anything that I’m interested in – which includes spiritual pursuits and having the need to help people. He just doesn’t have a connection to anything outside of his own petty needs, and try as I might, I can’t help him see it. It’s really hard to live in the same house with someone like that and not feel sad for the world, as a whole.

For the last 3 years I’ve been working so hard, just trying to convince myself that I can love him again, and everything will work out and be alright. But it’s not happening, and I’m wasting my life waiting for things to get better. He’s not even trying to be a good boyfriend, and our life is going nowhere. There’s no growth to be had here, and it’s time for me to blossom and move on. I want to go on pilgrimage next year, and spend time at a meditation retreat, and these are things that are alien to him.

For him right now I’m just the person paying the other half of the rent and cooking dinner now and then. It’s a soulless relationship. I want so much more, and I deserve so much more. But I just can’t bring myself to hurt him when he needs someone to bolster his spirits in this time of need. Please help me leave, Lord. Please give me the strength I need to take care of myself. I’ve given him long enough. I’ve tried for years when he hasn’t. I’m just going to get old and wither away here waiting for things to get better.