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Mourning my babies in heaven, but can I have some more?

Dear God,
I miss Rocky and Tony so much. I am reminded of them every day. Sometimes the pain is hard to bear and I don’t think anyone else can understand so I keep it to myself. At night I sob in the shower so my husband cannot hear. I pray God, that you are looking after my two babies. I wonder about them, I wonder what they look like and whether they are children running around, or whether they are fully grown in heaven. I wonder if they can see or hear me, or know that I exist. I wonder if they long to be with me in the same way that I long to be reunited with them. I wish I could see them and know that they were with you. I often feel so guilty that my body was not strong enough to carry them, that I was not able to sustain their life, that I did not get to love them in person. All the same I miss them everyday. At the same time, I long for my womb and for my arms to be full again. No one will replace Tony or Rocky, but I yearn for another little person to call my own. Someone to nourish and protect, to teach and to enjoy. I long for another opportunity to be a mother. I feel as if it is an impossible dream, but God I ask you to remember me. I ask you to heal my husband and I and open my womb, lead us in the ways that will make this possible. If I need to see a new doctor, or change my diet or do something else, please God let us know. Speak into our lives, guide us! Because it feels like we are flying blind and it hurts – it hurts! Father God we have walked down this road for so many years and we are so tired, heartbroken and confused. Help us. Free us from these burdens and these prisons. Set us free from this pain and allow us to be parents of many children that live with us on Earth, not just Tony and Rocky in heaven. Thank you God. Amen.