Darkness

Dear God, 

I’ve been down this road of depression for two years and counting and there seems to be no end in sight. I keep crying out to you, surrendering all that I have and asking you to be with me. All I hear is silence and all I feel is loneliness. The depression is eating away at me, down to my very soul. Please Lord, be with me and cast away this spirit of depression and heartache so I can be joyful again. My family and friends are hardly there for me—no one can understand so I don’t feel like talking to anyone anymore. My heart is so worn down from disappointment and I know that part of the reason for that is you wanting me to turn my heart towards you. I’ve had long days of restlessness and tears for as long as I can remember, and I fear that my resentment towards you will lead to my falling out. I don’t ever want to lose you Lord, I just need to feel that you’re there. I need something of you to hold on to. I know in my weakest moments during these two years God, that I’ve said horrible things about you when I couldn’t hear you and feel you next to me but it was only because I wanted you to be there the most. Not my friends, my family or anyone else but you. Please don’t leave me in the dark, I’m desperately waiting for you to turn on the light.