Changing.

Dear God,
Why have you done all these things to me? Why do you have to break my mom’s heart, my dad’s heart? It pains me so much seeing my mom trying so hard everyday. And I wonder if my dad is handling things well by himself. I know it’s not enough for them to just talk on the phone, especially with the time difference. Why did you make this happen to us, God? I was so happy with my church. We were one family. Youth group was one big family. I miss my brothers and sisters so much. It feels like a half of my heart was torn out of my chest and thrown to the ground. I don’t like going to church anymore, God. Everyday, I feel myself going further away from faith. I feel hopeless. Sometimes, I don’t even want to be a christian anymore. People say, God still loves you, but they don’t know how much pain our family has gone through because of the people you put in our lives. It’s hard to believe you did this for us because you love us. I don’t know if I want to even pray for my faith back. Maybe I’ll be happier without you….</3