Dear God

Thank you Lord for allowing me to live another day. I am grateful this. But Lord I feel so dejected. As You already know, my cousin confided in me years ago that she broke up with her current boyfriend to sleep with her ex-boyfriend and then got back together with her current boyfriend again . I kept quiet about the matter despite the fact I believed the current boyfriend needed to know the truth. Time passed and the current bf asked her to marry her him and all was well until last week till my cousin informed me she wanted to leave him again and be out on her own. The current boyfriend called my husband and I asking for advice and we told him to move on with his life and salvage his heart for someone better. I love my cousin but the way she treated her SO was degrading/abusive. He stated that my cousin was the first woman to never cheat on him. Little did he know that was not the case.
I felt inclined/obligated/like it was my duty to tell him that was not true and that she in fact left him to be with her ex. I thought I was being an honorable woman telling him this because if someone did this to me I would want them to tell me. I felt as if I couldn’t hide “sin” anymore or disregard it just because she was my family member. I thought Lord that I was doing what You would want me to do. My motives were to help not harm anyone. But now, I am being called a liar. I am being called a backstabber and not a trustworthy person. And You know what is more painful than anything? The current boyfriend believes that I am lying too! He truly believes my cousin did nothing wrong despite having found email between her and her ex. My family thinks I am in the wrong for being disloyal to my cousin. They think that I am trying to sow discord rather than peace. But I am not Lord you know this. But my philosophy is when good people fail to act or overlook bad behavior that is how evil wins. I don’t want to overlook bad things and be cowardly about sticking up for the “right” thing. Everyone in my family does. You know my heart Lord. You know that it hurt me to speak the truth just as much as it hurt for someone to accept it. You know Lord that doing this thing was difficult for me to do. It would have been easier if I just kept her indiscretion to myself but would it have been what You wanted me to do?
Please help me to not self-loathe and focus on You and You alone. I pray Lord Jesus the same healing and love I have in my life that they too receive. I am staying away for awhile because I don’t want to deal with their accusations about me. I trust You and you know my motives. You know what the truth is Lord and I pray You vindicate me. That the truth come to light and You uphold me in Your righteous right hand. I pray throughout this whole ordeal that You keep me and have favor with me. Thank you for being my hiding place. I love You. Amen.