Helpless

Im tired of visualizing that things You have in store in me. Ungratefulness was the product of my life.
I tried many times to be as a man who totally committed to You but in the end, everything was falling apart, 
there is no joy walking in me. It seems like Im saving my own feelings rather than my faith and everything in me 
was faking You out, like a mere man. Also I felt so angry with myself, bcoz of such decisions which driven me 
to built a wall that separated me from other fellow. Im so stubborn to the point of giving in is the best thing to do.
It so sad making this conclusion, Im tearing apart my dreams and desires by doing this day to day. I sigh, help me, 
fix this scenery again, I pray.