hey big guy. i miss you alot lately…i know your always here i just dont always see you but i want to start seeing you more. im so thankful for all the things you have given me. i just cant seem to grasp why you take things away. like liv why’d she have to leave us? why couldnt she find happiness here? why does it suddenly seem like i cant find happiness here? everyone’s so cold hearted wishing horrible things on people they “love”. how could you ever wish something horrible on someone your supposedly love i dont understand it. why cant you just come take us home. take us away from this horrible mess of a place. why are people accused of things they didnt do? ripped away from their family? i just want to be with you. thats all i want. i know ill see you soon and that life here is not nearly as long as we think. but i dont have the heart to hurt so many people that i love here. im not ready to leave them but im ready to be with you. how do i balance that. i know you have great plans for me. a wonderful husband, beautiful kids, a great job where im helping people. i dont want to be all grown up yet but i so badly want those things. because i know if i could help at least one person a day i would be happy. and why do the people i love have to be so far away?