How It Is For Me

Dear God,

I know you’re there, no matter how much my conscious assaults me otherwise. I released it when *She* died. Although everybody else felt like she was too young, too perfect and ultimately too good to die, I still, even though it made me hurt so damn deep inside, felt happy that she had been moved from this place to somewhere more worthy of her soul.

It is very very hard not having my family feel the same way about you. I really want them too. Please God give me the strength to help them. That is my biggest prayer and always will be.

At the moment I cannot decipher what to do with my life. When I first came to University you gave me the girl who is now my girlfriend to identify my faith, and you gave her strength through all that she’s been through to lead me to salvation and for that I am truly grateful. To even have had a part of her is everything to me.

Please help me work out what it is you want me to do for you.