It kills me.
August 14, 2007. Monday, around morning/afternoon ish.
We woke up and I was so moved by my weekend. Friday-Sunday we had special guests from Philly come and we chilled and got closer to God. GLOW missions. I was stoked from meeting so many new friends, and I got on YouTube and listened to “Stained Glass Masquerade” by casting crowns and “Shadowfeet” by Brooke fraiser, and sgm by cc again. Halfway through the song, we get a call from Korea. My mom answers, then breaks down. I knew what happened before she said anything and I was in so much .. Confusion? That all I did was go to my room. No tears came that day, and when I begged God to give me a sign that everything was going to be okay, that she was watching from above, the sun started shining brighter than before, then went back dark. I felt like He was going to take care of us and we would be okay. My mom cried for days afterwards, her mom was gone and she didn’t even say goodbye to us. My mom begged her to look at us, to say a final goodbye before we went to Virginia, and she looked the other way. She knew her time was up.
They held a special service at church, asking for everyone to come out and pray for us, for her. I was so strong the whole time, but I refused to go into the service. I refused to see my mom cry, I didn’t want to see the look of everyones faces, staring.
It kills me knowing that my grandpa got a girlfriend not even after a month passed. It breaks my moms heart, and my brother. My brother refuses to talk to him. I know deep down, my mom thinks about her everyday. And today was THE day and she seemed depressed. I just had to let it out somewhere so I did on here. I don’t usually tell stuff about me to anyone. None of my friends really know about this, but I needed to vent. Sorry if I sound like a loser