It’s Me Again God, I am still Waiting on You

Dear God,

Hi , it is me again  writing You. Thank You for this day even thought I am still tormented. Please God, give me a reason to want to live. I just keep thinking of meeting You in Heaven and I know if I kill myself I will never get to live in eternity with You. God I am so lonley. I found a site online to make a wish  and my wish  was granted but even that had a negative out come after trustungt the wrong  people I ended up having to pay  the granted wish back. God I only wanted to help my pets cause they are all I have to love me in this world. Won’t you make those people understand that I was not trying to do anything wrong. Forgive me Lord for making a wish, I know I should have just prayed cause by wishinging I was asking  people to help me when I should have fully relyed on You to help me. And God  forgive me for being prideful in Nov/Dec09 fr insisiting I fit in with a group of people, I was just so lonely and needing to feel like I belonged. Please stop these bad thoughts Lord, I even wrote a note to my kid brother because I have been thinking of taking my own worthless life. I am sad and depressed and the only people that care are those who are paid to care like doctors. I know You are an ALMIGHTY God that can do anything and God I am holding onto hope and faith that  you will work this all out for me. In the Name of Jesus I pray  AMEN