Lord,

I need you. I just refuse to come„ humble myself, bow down and ask for forgiveness.

I haven’t spoken to tyou in a long while, a very long while. I have been too, no, I refused to talk to you all this time. runnign away, hiding, doing things that I’m not supposed to do, things that I know havr not and still not make you proud. I want to be like Peter. When You asked him if he too will walk away from you and peter answered “Lord, to whom shall I go?” I want to have that realization. To whom shall I go if not to you? I can’t do this anymore. I know, I really know that I am destined for great things, that you have destined great things for me. I’m so scared. I feel filthy, I feel unworthy, I feel proud, I’m so undeserving. And right now, I know the devil owns my soul. Lord help me. I don’t to live this life anymore. I want you. I need you. Lord. Save me from myself, save me from this life. I’m sorry for all the things that I have done. i feel so ashamed. I feel so hopeless. So helpless. I’m so sorry. I want to go back to you but I feel so unworthy, I don’t know you anymore. I have strayed so far away from you. I want you back in my life. There’s nothing and nowhere to go from here. I know, I feel now that the world is hopeless place. It’s evil and mediocre and celebrates everything that is less. I don’t want that. I want you. I need you. I want to sing praises to  your Name again. I want to see great things again. I want to shout for joy again. Lord I’m so sorry. Thank you very much. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for loving me, thank you for your mercy, your grace. Thank you God!!! Thank you Jesus!!!!!