Lord, Please help me.

Dear God, I haven’t been able to pray to you lately.. Lord you’re in my heart always, whenever I’m hurt and lonely you’re always there for me Lord and you’re the FIRST person I want to go to.. but Simon keeps getting in the way Lord. Lord I know I shouldn’t blame him, but please help me and guide me Lord. Lord, I know that you have so much great plans for me.. but sometimes I’m doubtful that you even have plans for me. Lord I am so hurt and lost right now, I am in great need of you. Sometimes I think that maybe.. just maybe you’re not even real and you’re just one of those Gods that people made up just so they can talk about their insecurities to someone and know that someone’s listening. Lord all the time.. everyday I think about dying…. killing myself.. but I won’t. LORD IM SO FRUSTRATED I JUST WANNA DIE LORD PLEASE HELP ME LORD PLEASE GUIDE ME LORD PLEASE….. JUST PLEASE….