Lost in the Gray

Dear God,

I once was on fire for you, I prayed every day, I read my bible every day, I even had a “purity” ring. You gave me the one thing I craved and that was a boyfriend, someone to love me. You and I both know how that ended up: me shattered into pieces, virginity gone, and no one but you. Last year was such a rush, going from my lowest low to new high with new friends and a new outlook on life. However now, a year after all of that here I am struggling with my faith. I’ve messed around with a guy or two trying to fulfill that hole left by my ex. There are days were I know, no, I can feel, that there is the one out there for me. But then there are days where I question my very place in this world. Lord I can feel the marks across my arms, but afraid to trace them for real. Lord I pray that you may fix what is wrong with me. That I may become with peace with you again, if that’s possible. Lord I don’t love myself anymore, how could you love me? Lord please just wrap your arms around me and sooth my soul that seems to haunted.

Amen

Love,

A troubled child of yours