TO MY FATHER IN HEAVEN FROM YOUR DAUGHTER THE SUFFERING EARTH ANGEL
Every time I have asked you for something…and you know ive only asked 4 times maybe 5…you have given me my hearts desires.I believe no mater how impossible things look..you have always turned things around even at the last minute.You gave me what I wanted after 2 yrs.I was so depressed..in and out of the hospital for 6 months for anxiety panic attacks..I thought I was dying.Thank you for the opportunity you gave me.It seems everytime you give me something..I guess I dont feel worthy of receiving,then I mess it all up and do things that are not from you.Then they are taken from me.I have learned now a pattern.You give..I take and forget to thank you..I think its mine and do as I please.I cant do this.I am supposed to praise you..thank you and continue to walk in a way pleasing.I have learned to pray for things,relationships,people when there is fighting.Not to fight back.I must pray and ask you to help me in these things.PLEASE FATHER IN THE NAME OF JESUS I ask you to waych over my 2 oldest girls.Remove any spirit of death or satan from their lives.All because of money..J is married to a drug dealer.My grandbaby is in this mess.While they sit there with new furniture,eating,drinking going out..we all are suffering trying to just maintain a roof over our heads.Please Father touch my daughters heart help open her eyes..that her soul..her baby are more important than wanting a man.A man who is not a leader.A man who endangers their lives.I beg you Father to proptect my Daughter and Grandaughter that she stays away from the balcony.Shes only 3.Her mind has been corrupted by a man.I know shes looking for a Father figure.I never had that to give them.Its my fault.And S I ask you to help me to show them they need school,church,decent friends.I ask you to watch her and J and B my babies.How can my mom be so nasty?Isnt she a woman of God?I know she is depressed with watching my kids.She thinks she can take total control.My uncle no respect.They call me names in front of my kids.Threaten and blackmale when I take the somewhere??How can this be.You know what I have gone thru.I ask you to send an angel or your self to me.Please.I cant take it anymore.I have lost the house with my kids.My oldest marries a 50 yr old drug dealer all so she has a place to live?WHY??WHY??Does this continue?I know why.I dont protect what you have given me.Im sorry.Please father help me.I feel like killing myself at times.I lock my self away and cry and cry.Then im ok for a little and the pattern repeats.I always try and help everyone.I clean the yard for my mom everyday.She has 40 yrs of junk everywhere.All the neighbors laugh,make fun..its discusting.aits dirty and my kids are there while im in the back yard in a trailer thats falling apart.This is why my girls left.How she kicked us out of the home where me and my kids were.I was on food stamps and worst and I finally made so much money to help my brother,uncle,mom I put my kids in that christian school(so called)just for them to be kicked out because i couldnt pay for 2 weeks.I have more issues than anyone I know.People that really know me say its not normal.To constantly be going thru this.People dont know what goes on in my life.Im always the positive one.All those P I take on.These people look up to me for advice.I know right from wrong.I give sound advice and thats what makes me special..they listen.Why cant I do this my self?When am I going to have a home for me and my kids so they are not mentally,emotionally,physcially abused??????WHEN???My smaller kids nature and spirit are being destroyed.how can people be so nasty?when i had a decent carrer for once in my life for those years everyone wanted my help.you know i gave my brother 42k i had it..he needed help..divorece etc..what did he do???he bought a car..he went on vacation…i had to pay taxes on this…i had to pawn my car for 5k and i paid 32k…just to keep a roof over my head..i ask you father to please keep me strong.show me the way.lead and clear a path so i can follow.trying to help all these people in work..they depend on me…if they only knew my situation.i ask you to restore c heart.show him his errors.leet him see that wahat he did to me was wrong.i feel like a punching bag.i feeel like thay all hate me.i know you have a plan.i wish i could see what it is so i could prepare and not have these attacks.it scares me.i think im committing suicide slowly by just giving up.help me father in Jesus name.
remove J from my daughters life and bring her closer to you.
please do not allow her cancer to come back(I beg you)shes just a kid a 21 yr old child that hasnt even lived yet.
i ask you to watch and protect all 4 of my kids.and my granddaughter.
i ask you to send me clients to help them and be able to provide for me and my kids.to help us leaver this abusive environment so i can regain control and bring my kids to church regularly.
i ask for a large home for me and hopefully my oldest so they can move back with me and 2 kids.i want them in school and church and to have christian friends.real christian friends.
i ask you to touch the heart of c and if hes meant to be my husband9(this is the only way i coul,d go back to hime))let it be.I want a pure decent relationship with him.i want to be married so i am not sinning.i love this man.you brought him back after i suffered for 2 yrs.i was hjappy.the devil threw some one in for lust.i ask you to open his heart and mind and to leave any doubt or doublemindedness and confusion. i ask these things in Jesus name.Amen.,
Im granted and I have faith and believe.
Thank you for allowing all of us to be in the hospital with her.I know you forgave her.You knew I was going to be around her in her last days.I thank you for perfect timing.